Honeymoon (and Timeshare) Teaches Life Lessons


I recently came across this humorous short story by Issac J. Bailey on MyrtleBeachOnline.com and thought I would post it here for your reading pleasure. Here at Timeshare Relief, we’ve heard stories from our clients about their encounters with timeshare sales teams that are really amusing — sometimes ridiculous, sometimes unbelievable – and this account is a pretty good example of one of those types of stories:

Honeymoon Teaches Life Lessons

We finally made it to the hotel after a trip on a ship that seemed too small with too many people. And because I didn’t have the wisdom to reserve a room, we had to catch cat naps wherever we could find a free spot on deck, under an incredibly bright, hot sun.

The ship took us from Florida to the Bahamas.

In the hotel room on the island was a bathroom. In the bathroom was a broken toilet. In the toilet … someone had left a little gift.

We got another room. It was just as foul. But the toilet worked and was clean.

Our first meal was at a KFC. It was within walking distance. Along the way, we met a man. He begged for money. I gave him a dollar.

“Next dolla!” he screamed in mangled English, demanding another.

A man in a business suit said I was stupid for bothering with a beggar.

Before we made it to KFC to enjoy that romantic dinner, we had to go through a phalanx of street vendors. I think one offered to braid Tracy’s hair, $2 per strand.

We ate, then walked back to the hotel where we were greeted by a man who promised to get us upgraded to the island’s most exclusive resort. All we had to do was sit through a 90-minute presentation. No pressure.

We said yes even knowing we had gone through the same sales program in Florida, where 90 minutes turned into three hours.

But broken toilets were still dancing in our heads.

A van took us to the resort the next day. It was beautiful. We smiled.

“This is more like it,” I thought to myself.

We were greeted by a friendly woman. She smiled a lot, and offered us a free lunch. We ate. Happily.

Then she tried to convince us to buy a timeshare at the low, low price of about $10,000. She didn’t know we didn’t have a cent to our name, though I’m not sure she would care if she did.

At the end of the tour and timeshare pitch, we politely said no. The nice woman turned psychotic.

“You eat my food and you treat me like this!” she yelled.

We sighed. The van took us back to the cracked-toilet hotel. Soon, we left the island wondering why no one told us that honeymoons aren’t always postcard perfect.

We were married 10 years ago today and I’m realizing only now that we learned valuable lessons on that ill-fated trip. We learned to say no when saying yes is not in our best interest.

We learned that proper preparation is as vital to a marriage as it is in life.

We learned we must suffer life’s unexpected sideswipes together, with a smile. And we learned that there are no free lunches.

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